I’m a little down, I shouldn’t be, I knew in the back of my mind all along, yet I’m still blue. I saw J again before his 2 week vacation trip with his family. He kept on telling me it was a sole business trip, until today when it all came out.
* * *
He kept on asking me how much I was going to miss him while he’s away. “Will you miss me this much?” He asked using his hands to show a distance of 8 inches, “or this much?” he brought his hands closer together.
I didn’t respond directly. It’s something I wanted to leave to the end. Isn’t it nice to tell someone you will miss them before they go?
“Your baby will miss you, I bet.” I said referring to his son, whom he loves to talk about with me.
“No.” He said, shaking his head. “He’s coming with me.”
I was a little surprised. “Is your wife going with you two?” He nodded. Soon, he revealed that it was a vacation/business trip.
“That’s cool.” I laughed and said, “Maybe you will have sex with you wife on vacation.”
“No, we don’t have sex.” He said.
“Well, what if you just did?” I kept teasing him.
“We’d have to have a long conversation before that happens.” He referred to his wife and him.
“So, you never do it?” I raised my eyebrows in surprise.
“No. I wouldn’t be here if we did.” He blurted out.
We skipped over that last sentence as if it had never been spoken. But deep down inside, I knew it’s what I needed to hear. I confirmed everything! It’s really all about the sex. But why have sex with me when there are escorts around? It’s cheaper too.
Am I lucky? Sure, I found myself a client (aka sugar daddy) to get a steady allowance. Yet I’m still pussy, and I got to be loyal pussy. How screwed in the head is that? If a man is only using me for sexual satisfaction, why does he want me to be exclusively his?
Today’s sex marathon was odd. First of all, I just couldn’t get into it. (He had no idea). But when I finally did, I was faking it big time. Hoping that I could last for as long as he needed, it did not happen!
55 minutes into the in/out action he asked me if I was tired. “No, I’m not tired. Just a bit sore.” I nodded in the direction of my pussy. I was being honest. “Maybe we should stop?” He asked.
“No!” I said. He looked at me like, are you crazy? LOL
“I want you to finish.” I said with a smile. He pondered on it and decided missionary was his best way to get off. 15 minutes later he had the big O.
Where do I find these clowns? I mean 80 minutes of non-stop sex. FUCK! Sex is over in 20 minutes…
20 minutes! (I’m not including the foreplay).
Uhhhh…And to top it all off, I think he’s been lying to me about his real name. He knows my real name but I’m 99% sure he gave me a fake name.
* * *
In the end I’m really getting fucked no matter which way you look at it.
10 comments:
I thought sugars didn't give their real name? Or was I misinformed?
IDK maybe you should wait it out a bit more.
@ Anonymous:
Some do and others don't. I gave him my name because I knew he'd want to travel with me over seas. I don't see the point in making up names when he'll eventually see it when booking plane tickets.
;) Thanks for reading! xo
Found ur blog yesteday and have enjoed what I have read! ~Maggie~
I think you stepped into trusting a little too soon. Also, of course it's about the sex...that and the power of knowing that it is at his disposal. Sex and Power in exchange for money.
When I am with an escort I am paying for a service. If I were to have a sugar daddy relationship I would expect to have full access at the times agreed upon, according to the agreement. During those sessions, I want to be treated like a god of sex.
While I LOVE how real and fresh you sound, I also feel like a little "business mistrust" would do you well.
In my experience both the providers and Johns learn to shield themselves for good reason.
Has he used escorts before? Does he understand his part of the business arrangement? Does he understand how to shield his emotions? Do you?
I would almost book your own oversees tickets, or cross that line when it comes. I did not know my regulars real name until I had to help her out of a tight spot, then she reluctantly gave it to me with a warning...it's business...not personal.
@Maggie:
Thanks :)
@ Kenny:
Yes, I did trust a bit too soon. I guess I wanted to step out of a lie I've been living for all these years.
As an escort I have never told a single client my real name...not for any reason! I have always kept my emotions in check and made sure my clients did not step over the line. Like you say, it is business and I understand it.
I took a break from escorting when I found my SD, and for some reason I wanted to give my persona a break too. Now I realize I should not have :) That's fine though, I learn my lessons as they come to me.
I'm pretty certain he has seen escorts in the past. Every little thing he does is a give away he's been with escorts, even though he told me that he's never got involved in those kind of activities.
I'm not sure why he's pretending to be this great guy that's not played the field a bit? It's weird...I don't like guys who act like catholic priests...hahaha...
I bet, he was burned by an escort or, even worse, an escorts boyfriend.
So now he is very protective, wants ultimate control, he wants the power position.
That is almost how I feel now. I was very friendly and trusting with the escorts I saw. Real name, real job, even helped a couple with dental issues cause I can.
Now I am just Kenny, no real name if I can help it. It is time for money, with only one exception, if an escort I saw called me to ask for money or to say she needs to pay rent so do I want an appointment...I would shut them down fast.
Honestly, I also don't want to know their real names, their lives, their problems (of which there seems to be many). When I go shopping I want friendly help, a smile and a how-do-you-do and a come back again. I could give a shit if it is fake, as long as it seems real. I have my own life and my friends for real.
I now understand and appreciate the "professional" attitude. I also understand and appreciate the GFE and what that means.
Of course...he may just be an asshole...HA HA!
@ Kenny:
Yea he could be, but it doesn't really matter at this point. I have my head on straight :)
xox
turns out even ex escorts make the same mistakes... i thought i was the only fool that trusted a bit much and feel for an SD... I did not find out Mr. Bigs name until 4 months in ...
@ Goal Digger:
Yea, I think the ones that make these mistakes still have a little heart left. What I mean to say is - not completely jaded.
That's just my opinion :)
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