In the past few months I have run into a problem that never bothered me before! Matter of fact, until I was paid a visit from Mr. Monster Cock, I thought these kind of dicks only existed in porn movies.
Now, I just want to make things clear…I LUV…yes that’s L. U. V. very BIG cocks. The ones that are 9 inches long, thick and hard! My mouth waters and my pussy starts to purr when I pull on a magnum on those fuckers. One of my ex-favorites had a big penis…and come to think of it every favorite after that always came with a big penis.
Many men with big dicks are puzzled at how I can take it with such pleasure. And honestly, I do not know! I just do…and never cease to amaze them or myself.
Now, just three months ago I had this young 25-year-old guy schedule a session. He walked in, paid his fee and we were off to the bedroom. After removing all his clothing, I pulled down his shorts and out flopped the MONSTER cock. Uhh…okay it was no less than 9 inches long, which wasn’t intimidating. But this thing was thicker than my wrist! I was a bit put off…
With my past experience in mind, I excitedly fumbled with the condom. He gave me a hand (or two) to help stretch the rubber on his anaconda. I asked him to lay down on his back and started lathering on the lube. “Mmmm…I’m going to ride your big hard cock!” I told him as I swung one of my legs over his body and got into cowgirl position. Slowly I started to ease myself on the tip.
Nothing has prepared me for this…I felt like I was being torn apart!!!!! After a few I said with a wink, “I’m going to take it slow.” He wasn’t arguing. After 10 minutes I managed to get myself into a sexual frenzy…I can do that sometimes by pretending that I’m horny out of my mind and I actually get horny out of my mind LMAO
I was jumping on his cock and taking it all the way down to his pubic bone. Only in the depths of my excited state I felt like I was split apart in 6 parts of my vagina. This guy was loud! I mean, louder than most of my visitors. And as much as I got into it, I couldn’t help but wonder what my neighbors were thinking when they heard, “You ‘shorties’ sure know how to fuck!!” He later told me he loves fucking tiny short girls because he wants to find the smallest pussy to cram it up.
Well…all went well until my next appointment. The next guy who started having sex with me (though average in size) felt like excruciating pain! I thought like I was being torn all over again at the seams. I took a day off. Things did not improve. I started feeling sudden attacks of pain deep inside my vagina. And then I was back to work again. Things did not improve!
I went for my regular STD testing at the clinic and told a nurse about my pains. I told her that during intercourse I felt like something is tearing inside me. She took a look, felt around, and told me that everything looked completely healthy. The test results also came back clean.
Only after I had to take time off due to my period that I healed completely! :D
I returned to work after my monthlies and on day two I got a new customer. The guy was fucking packing!!! And maybe not 9 inches long but thicker than Mr. Monster. I started giving the guy a blow job and I couldn’t fit it into my mouth!
“Listen sexy, I don’t think I can do this. You’re too big.” I told him. And I could see him becoming irritated with my response. He asked me to give it a try. I made an attempt in cowgirl, but barely letting him enter me at all. I kept telling him - it hurts.
“Let’s try a different position. Missionary has always seemed to work the best.” He suggested. I agreed and uh…I soo shouldn’t have!!! He pinned me down and started to bust into me…at least he wasn’t doing it too hard but let me say that I was sweating bullets !!!!! Lucky for me, he came super fast and we finished our session.
I have black listed both of these men because I just CANNOT accommodate them.
And so after talking to my lady friends in the business I have come to this conclusion. When a man's equipment is very large and you know you won't be able to take him -
A) Suggest to finish him off in another way - example blow job or hand release.
Or
B) Refund his fee and ask him to leave.
The argument I had with the ladies was - should I ask for some kind of fee even though I have to cancel the session due to his size? And after a long debate on what was the right thing to do…I personally came to this.
Asking for a small tip for the time spent even though there wasn’t any intercourse could cause WAY too many unnecessary problems. Such as bad reviews of being ripped off. Or even sexual assault! It’s better to cut your loses in this situation, and if the guy is a gentleman and understanding he would leave some kinda tip regardless. :)
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Valentine’s Day
Valentine’s Day morning I sent a text telling my boy that I’ve made up my mind to end things between us. That this decision was for the best, I couldn’t carry on any longer.
He never responded…
I like to delude myself. It’s true. When I met him I loved the idea of falling in love and so I let myself think that he could accept me - me the escort. How can someone change the stripes that were ingrained for years by a strict religious mother and two crazy over-protective sisters? Not a momma’s boy, not the baby of the family!
And as the days went along I felt him distancing himself from me. “Why did you have to tell me you are an escort?” He asked me this immature question three times. And each time I would explain that honesty is better than living in a lie. Would he really know me if he didn’t know who I am? I didn’t think so…
The night before Valentine’s Day I called and confronted him. “I can’t help but feel a change between us. Like you aren’t as interested in me as you used to be.”
“Ooh…I can’t understand why you’d feel this way. I’m sorry.” He said into the phone.
The examples I gave to him were very obvious -
1) No longer planning on seeing me. Compared to asking me and making plans for the next time we’d see each other.
2) Telling me that he’d rather spend time with me than go to the gym. Compared to going to the gym every day after work. Resulting in him getting home at 9 every night. Doesn’t leave much time to hang out.
3) Taking forever in answering my text messages. Compared to texting me all the time.
The more significant reason was not taking me out. I realized that he just might not have any ideas so I did some research and found a band I wanted to go see in concert. They were going to be in our city middle of March and surprise surprise several tickets were still on sale! I sent him a text telling him about the band coming to our city. He told me he has heard of them but couldn’t remember any of their songs.
“I’ll check them out and if I like them, I think it would be fair for us to go.” He told me.
Days went by and he kept saying he didn’t have the time to look them up. First of all, I cannot believe a guy would tell me that ‘it be fair for us to go’ if he likes the band. Seriously?! What about taking a girl out because it’s just a nice thing to do? Do I need to say more? LOL No…
It's funny too, that Valentine's morning I woke up to find several emails from my clients wishing me a Happy Valentine's Day. But I never heard from my boy...Not that I expected anything from him, but I was hoping he'd at least wish me a good day. And so I felt there was no recovery; the relationship was doomed from the start. And I finally stopped hoping that things would change. I had to move on to save my precious time. :)
He never responded…
I like to delude myself. It’s true. When I met him I loved the idea of falling in love and so I let myself think that he could accept me - me the escort. How can someone change the stripes that were ingrained for years by a strict religious mother and two crazy over-protective sisters? Not a momma’s boy, not the baby of the family!
And as the days went along I felt him distancing himself from me. “Why did you have to tell me you are an escort?” He asked me this immature question three times. And each time I would explain that honesty is better than living in a lie. Would he really know me if he didn’t know who I am? I didn’t think so…
The night before Valentine’s Day I called and confronted him. “I can’t help but feel a change between us. Like you aren’t as interested in me as you used to be.”
“Ooh…I can’t understand why you’d feel this way. I’m sorry.” He said into the phone.
The examples I gave to him were very obvious -
1) No longer planning on seeing me. Compared to asking me and making plans for the next time we’d see each other.
2) Telling me that he’d rather spend time with me than go to the gym. Compared to going to the gym every day after work. Resulting in him getting home at 9 every night. Doesn’t leave much time to hang out.
3) Taking forever in answering my text messages. Compared to texting me all the time.
The more significant reason was not taking me out. I realized that he just might not have any ideas so I did some research and found a band I wanted to go see in concert. They were going to be in our city middle of March and surprise surprise several tickets were still on sale! I sent him a text telling him about the band coming to our city. He told me he has heard of them but couldn’t remember any of their songs.
“I’ll check them out and if I like them, I think it would be fair for us to go.” He told me.
Days went by and he kept saying he didn’t have the time to look them up. First of all, I cannot believe a guy would tell me that ‘it be fair for us to go’ if he likes the band. Seriously?! What about taking a girl out because it’s just a nice thing to do? Do I need to say more? LOL No…
It's funny too, that Valentine's morning I woke up to find several emails from my clients wishing me a Happy Valentine's Day. But I never heard from my boy...Not that I expected anything from him, but I was hoping he'd at least wish me a good day. And so I felt there was no recovery; the relationship was doomed from the start. And I finally stopped hoping that things would change. I had to move on to save my precious time. :)
Monday, February 14, 2011
Girl - Civilian Sex
We met again, five days after I revealed my secret identity. It was movie night and I arrived at his place around 9:15 PM. The movie was - The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo - watch it if you hadn’t seen it. It’s very interesting!
The boy was restless, cuddly and wiggling about trying to kiss me. Not paying much attention to the film! LOL I managed to get him settled down after a few kisses and shifting around on the couch.
When the movie was over we started making out on the couch as I lay flat on my back with him on top of me between my thighs.
“Take your shirt off…” I whispered to him. He slipped out of his shirt and I began admiring his chiseled chest. This was the first time I saw him with his shirt off. I took off my top leaving my white bra on.
“Let’s trade positions.” I told him as I got up and let him lay down on the couch. I straddled him and started kissing his neck, down his chest and rubbing him all the way down to his cock. I slowly unbuttoned his jeans and pulled them off in two swift movements. I lowered myself to a crouching position and kissed along the length of his hard-on through his boxer shorts. When I got to the base, I ran my tongue back up to the tip over the fabric. When I looked up at him, he seemed to be enjoying the teasing.
At that point I was wearing my tight blue jeans and white bra. Slowly teasing him I pealed away his shorts. Now he was completely naked lying before me. I love it when men feel naked when I’m still almost fully dressed, the shy ones give off this sense of vulnerability. It made me smile. I took his cock in my hand and gently kissed around it, licking his smooth balls and then sliding my tongue from the base back to the tip. When my lips reached the tip of his dick I sucked him into my mouth inch by inch.
I think he enjoyed himself and after a bit I went up for air to ask him for some guidance. “Tell me what you like most? I’ll keep going and you tell me when I hit the right spots.”
He seemed shy and said, “If I’m close what…?” He didn’t finish but I knew what he was asking about.
“You can cum in my mouth.” I told him and continued on with the blowjob. I sensed that he was getting close but the position on the couch was hard to maintain and soon I was getting tired. I moved up his body and we resumed with some passionate kissing.
I was pretty wet at that point. “Let’s have sex I told him,” as I stripped out of my jeans, panties and bra. I got on top of him and reached into my purse. I pulled out a condom and rolled it down for some wicked cowgirl action.
The sex felt quite amazing! It has been more than 2 years since I’ve had sex for free. This was sex for me!
We switched positions and he asked me when I was going to cum. I told him not to worry and in all 5 minutes he was done.
We cleaned up, got re-dressed and chilled out some more on the couch. He asked me about orgasms - if I can cum and how long it takes for me to cum. I explained that I rarely orgasm during intercourse. “Why?” He asked.
I wasn’t sure how to answer him.
In 15 minutes he started kissing me again and telling me he'd like to go again if I'm not too tired. I excitedly agreed and we both went to his bedroom. We stripped, jumped in bed and I started sucking him off again. This time he was up on his knees and I was lying on my side below him. I took his hand, closest to me, and guided it to my pussy. He seemed to take the hint. He started rubbing my clit with lots of pressure.
“Please do it more softly.” I asked him after I took his dick out of my mouth. He adjusted the pressure and the next few minutes he was driving me a little crazy.
“Can we get to the sex now?” He asked after a bit. I laughed and put on a new condom and got on top. But for some reason in a couple of minutes I started to get dry. Seems like a persistent problem I get when I’m with my clients lately (I have to use loads of lube these days…). We stopped and I applied a bit of lube.
We continued humping but with my cold not being 100% over I felt like I was going at 70% capacity…I was running out of steam.
“Let’s do doggy.” I instructed and let him move around me on the bed. We took position and he smashed my pussy from behind while I rubbed my clit with one hand as I balanced myself on my knees and other arm. In all my excitement I began to moan.
“I’m not going to last much longer…” He said as he kept hitting it from the back.
“Cum for me!” I begged him. And soon I felt his contractions in my pussy. We fell on the bed and rested for a while.
“That was better than the first time! I almost made you cum this time.” He said.
Right…almost doesn’t really describe it…not even sorta…not even close!
This time I didn’t ask him to go down on me (because I was just a day away from my period)…but I’m going to be expecting it and asking for it next time! Actually, I’d prefer if I don’t need to ask him to lick the pussy…but if he doesn’t dive in next time…I’m going to invite him to do so.
One thing that excites me about this experience is his tongue ring. I have never been with anyone that has a pierced tongue! And that is why I sooooo want it. LOL
What I also hope is that he’s trainable. Men can be taught how to pleasure a woman. Every woman is different so teaching a guy how to pleasure you is the best journey. :)
At this point we are still together but haven’t seen each other in 5 days. He got sick yesterday, and sounds super yucky on the phone. And I just got over my own cold and period…I’m returning to work and need to be healthy! Hehehe
The boy was restless, cuddly and wiggling about trying to kiss me. Not paying much attention to the film! LOL I managed to get him settled down after a few kisses and shifting around on the couch.
When the movie was over we started making out on the couch as I lay flat on my back with him on top of me between my thighs.
“Take your shirt off…” I whispered to him. He slipped out of his shirt and I began admiring his chiseled chest. This was the first time I saw him with his shirt off. I took off my top leaving my white bra on.
“Let’s trade positions.” I told him as I got up and let him lay down on the couch. I straddled him and started kissing his neck, down his chest and rubbing him all the way down to his cock. I slowly unbuttoned his jeans and pulled them off in two swift movements. I lowered myself to a crouching position and kissed along the length of his hard-on through his boxer shorts. When I got to the base, I ran my tongue back up to the tip over the fabric. When I looked up at him, he seemed to be enjoying the teasing.
At that point I was wearing my tight blue jeans and white bra. Slowly teasing him I pealed away his shorts. Now he was completely naked lying before me. I love it when men feel naked when I’m still almost fully dressed, the shy ones give off this sense of vulnerability. It made me smile. I took his cock in my hand and gently kissed around it, licking his smooth balls and then sliding my tongue from the base back to the tip. When my lips reached the tip of his dick I sucked him into my mouth inch by inch.
I think he enjoyed himself and after a bit I went up for air to ask him for some guidance. “Tell me what you like most? I’ll keep going and you tell me when I hit the right spots.”
He seemed shy and said, “If I’m close what…?” He didn’t finish but I knew what he was asking about.
“You can cum in my mouth.” I told him and continued on with the blowjob. I sensed that he was getting close but the position on the couch was hard to maintain and soon I was getting tired. I moved up his body and we resumed with some passionate kissing.
I was pretty wet at that point. “Let’s have sex I told him,” as I stripped out of my jeans, panties and bra. I got on top of him and reached into my purse. I pulled out a condom and rolled it down for some wicked cowgirl action.
The sex felt quite amazing! It has been more than 2 years since I’ve had sex for free. This was sex for me!
We switched positions and he asked me when I was going to cum. I told him not to worry and in all 5 minutes he was done.
We cleaned up, got re-dressed and chilled out some more on the couch. He asked me about orgasms - if I can cum and how long it takes for me to cum. I explained that I rarely orgasm during intercourse. “Why?” He asked.
I wasn’t sure how to answer him.
In 15 minutes he started kissing me again and telling me he'd like to go again if I'm not too tired. I excitedly agreed and we both went to his bedroom. We stripped, jumped in bed and I started sucking him off again. This time he was up on his knees and I was lying on my side below him. I took his hand, closest to me, and guided it to my pussy. He seemed to take the hint. He started rubbing my clit with lots of pressure.
“Please do it more softly.” I asked him after I took his dick out of my mouth. He adjusted the pressure and the next few minutes he was driving me a little crazy.
“Can we get to the sex now?” He asked after a bit. I laughed and put on a new condom and got on top. But for some reason in a couple of minutes I started to get dry. Seems like a persistent problem I get when I’m with my clients lately (I have to use loads of lube these days…). We stopped and I applied a bit of lube.
We continued humping but with my cold not being 100% over I felt like I was going at 70% capacity…I was running out of steam.
“Let’s do doggy.” I instructed and let him move around me on the bed. We took position and he smashed my pussy from behind while I rubbed my clit with one hand as I balanced myself on my knees and other arm. In all my excitement I began to moan.
“I’m not going to last much longer…” He said as he kept hitting it from the back.
“Cum for me!” I begged him. And soon I felt his contractions in my pussy. We fell on the bed and rested for a while.
“That was better than the first time! I almost made you cum this time.” He said.
Right…almost doesn’t really describe it…not even sorta…not even close!
This time I didn’t ask him to go down on me (because I was just a day away from my period)…but I’m going to be expecting it and asking for it next time! Actually, I’d prefer if I don’t need to ask him to lick the pussy…but if he doesn’t dive in next time…I’m going to invite him to do so.
One thing that excites me about this experience is his tongue ring. I have never been with anyone that has a pierced tongue! And that is why I sooooo want it. LOL
What I also hope is that he’s trainable. Men can be taught how to pleasure a woman. Every woman is different so teaching a guy how to pleasure you is the best journey. :)
At this point we are still together but haven’t seen each other in 5 days. He got sick yesterday, and sounds super yucky on the phone. And I just got over my own cold and period…I’m returning to work and need to be healthy! Hehehe
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Girl - Escort Tells Boy
The day before going over to my boy’s place for the first time, I made up my mind to keep him in the dark (option #1). I’d see where our relationship would lead and tell him I’m an escort when the time is right. Yes, I know how selfish! I do have a self-serving personality when it comes to men…uuhh…
That evening I drove over to the high tower building complex and parked downstairs. As I walked in a security guard at the front desk signed in my name, license plate number, as well as the apartment number I was visiting. Talk about security! There would be no way to run an incall from that building I thought :) haha
Up I went in the elevator. When I stepped out in the hallway I noticed a smell of paint and cement that lingers in every new building. As I walked down the hall, subconsciously I drew my escape route down the hall to the exit doors and the elevators, a work habit that seems to have become second nature. I can never relax, even when I’m obviously just visiting a friend. I knocked on the door and he opened in a few seconds.
It was a very clean one bedroom apartment and at the moment I walked in it was as silent as death. I wondered if he always kept things so quiet? He showed me around and I excused myself to take off all the layers of warm clothing (once again it was freezing blizzard outdoors).
We started watching a couple flicks on TV. And when the movies were over we moved on to some hott action. We started making out on the couch and I found him a bit reserved. The way he was kissing me was more like I was going after him. He isn’t a bad kisser but not the best, or what I mean to say - our kissing styles just aren’t in tune. I believe there is no such thing as a bad kisser. Only that two people are just not a good match. He wasn’t my match but his style did not annoy me at all. :)
At some point he ended up pinning me down to the couch. He rubbed himself against my pussy through both our jeans and we kept kissing more passionately. I moved my hands over his nice bum and slipped my hands under the jeans. After pulling him into me I turned my right hand to the front of his pants and rubbed his hard-on. I am always excited to feel or see the package haha. Slyly I pushed my hand past the band of his boxer shorts and placed my fingers around his dick. Let’s just say I was very disappointed! It wasn’t short, no it was an average length, but it was pencil dick. The kind that tapers off at the tip.
I moved my hands out of his pants and we shifted positions where we lay side by side on the couch facing each other. He slipped his hand into my jeans/panties and started rubbing me. It felt pretty good but he quickly stopped and asked me what I wanted to do.
“What would you like to do?” I asked him in return.
“Well I’m pretty excited here.” He referred to his hard-on. I gave it a long thought and said, “Do you have condoms?”
“Uh…no…”
“We can’t do it without condoms.” I responded.
“Let me go check just in case.” He said and walked off in a dreamy state to his bedroom. A minute later he returned saying that he found one condom.
“I think it’s better we do it another night.” I told him. He nodded his head and I told him I should get ready to go home.
That night I drove back home and considered my situation. Pencil dick and negative attitude toward my industry…why give him a chance? I like him as a person but if I’m going to accept someone the way they are then I want them to accept me the way I am. I arrived home, took a bath and sent him these messages:
Me - “Are you awake?”
Him - “Yea I am, I had fun tonight :) ”
Me - “Me too. I like you…but I’m upset :( I’ve been dishonest all this time. I’m sorry…”
Him - “Oh no…why?”
Me - “Because I am afraid you won’t accept me for who I am…what I do…been doing for years.”
Him - “You aren’t an administrator :(“
Him - “I was right then when I asked you the other night….”
Me - “You suspected…I am sorry”
Him - “I was right…”
Him - “I fell for you so quickly”
Him - “I am heart broken. I don’t know what to do. I really like you. I thought you were perfect for me. You are exactly what I want. I don’t feel so good right now.”
We had a long discussion where he asked me how long I am planning on being an escort and if I would stop if he started supporting me. To which I told him he needs to sleep and think about things on a fresh mind.
The following day he called me after work and we spoke on the phone. He seemed to be even more depressed. He said, “I wish you hadn’t told me this. Some things are just better left unknown.” I couldn’t believe my ears. I explained that it’s best we just move on because he couldn’t deal with it. Yet he kept on saying he wants to see me again. I let it go to see if he would settle down in the next few days. He started texting me again and his mood improved in a couple days.
To be continued…
That evening I drove over to the high tower building complex and parked downstairs. As I walked in a security guard at the front desk signed in my name, license plate number, as well as the apartment number I was visiting. Talk about security! There would be no way to run an incall from that building I thought :) haha
Up I went in the elevator. When I stepped out in the hallway I noticed a smell of paint and cement that lingers in every new building. As I walked down the hall, subconsciously I drew my escape route down the hall to the exit doors and the elevators, a work habit that seems to have become second nature. I can never relax, even when I’m obviously just visiting a friend. I knocked on the door and he opened in a few seconds.
It was a very clean one bedroom apartment and at the moment I walked in it was as silent as death. I wondered if he always kept things so quiet? He showed me around and I excused myself to take off all the layers of warm clothing (once again it was freezing blizzard outdoors).
We started watching a couple flicks on TV. And when the movies were over we moved on to some hott action. We started making out on the couch and I found him a bit reserved. The way he was kissing me was more like I was going after him. He isn’t a bad kisser but not the best, or what I mean to say - our kissing styles just aren’t in tune. I believe there is no such thing as a bad kisser. Only that two people are just not a good match. He wasn’t my match but his style did not annoy me at all. :)
At some point he ended up pinning me down to the couch. He rubbed himself against my pussy through both our jeans and we kept kissing more passionately. I moved my hands over his nice bum and slipped my hands under the jeans. After pulling him into me I turned my right hand to the front of his pants and rubbed his hard-on. I am always excited to feel or see the package haha. Slyly I pushed my hand past the band of his boxer shorts and placed my fingers around his dick. Let’s just say I was very disappointed! It wasn’t short, no it was an average length, but it was pencil dick. The kind that tapers off at the tip.
I moved my hands out of his pants and we shifted positions where we lay side by side on the couch facing each other. He slipped his hand into my jeans/panties and started rubbing me. It felt pretty good but he quickly stopped and asked me what I wanted to do.
“What would you like to do?” I asked him in return.
“Well I’m pretty excited here.” He referred to his hard-on. I gave it a long thought and said, “Do you have condoms?”
“Uh…no…”
“We can’t do it without condoms.” I responded.
“Let me go check just in case.” He said and walked off in a dreamy state to his bedroom. A minute later he returned saying that he found one condom.
“I think it’s better we do it another night.” I told him. He nodded his head and I told him I should get ready to go home.
That night I drove back home and considered my situation. Pencil dick and negative attitude toward my industry…why give him a chance? I like him as a person but if I’m going to accept someone the way they are then I want them to accept me the way I am. I arrived home, took a bath and sent him these messages:
Me - “Are you awake?”
Him - “Yea I am, I had fun tonight :) ”
Me - “Me too. I like you…but I’m upset :( I’ve been dishonest all this time. I’m sorry…”
Him - “Oh no…why?”
Me - “Because I am afraid you won’t accept me for who I am…what I do…been doing for years.”
Him - “You aren’t an administrator :(“
Him - “I was right then when I asked you the other night….”
Me - “You suspected…I am sorry”
Him - “I was right…”
Him - “I fell for you so quickly”
Him - “I am heart broken. I don’t know what to do. I really like you. I thought you were perfect for me. You are exactly what I want. I don’t feel so good right now.”
We had a long discussion where he asked me how long I am planning on being an escort and if I would stop if he started supporting me. To which I told him he needs to sleep and think about things on a fresh mind.
The following day he called me after work and we spoke on the phone. He seemed to be even more depressed. He said, “I wish you hadn’t told me this. Some things are just better left unknown.” I couldn’t believe my ears. I explained that it’s best we just move on because he couldn’t deal with it. Yet he kept on saying he wants to see me again. I let it go to see if he would settle down in the next few days. He started texting me again and his mood improved in a couple days.
To be continued…
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Girl - Escort Meets Boy
The title of this post was originally going to be “Girlfriend - Escort Finds Boyfriend” but with some additional information out on the table I made the proper adjustment to reflect my situation. Now on with the post…
These had been the 2 longest weeks of my life! When I sat down this morning and tried to reconstruct our 4 dates on the calendar, I felt like we had met at least a month ago. Naturally all the commotion of my distressed mind was crammed full into 14 days of sleepless nights, parties, worries, and excitement. It is obvious why 5 days ago I woke up with a bad cold - stuffy nose, sore bones, and headache - my physical body could not handle it.
I’m feeling good now though! Bounced back to full health pretty quick. And I’m just a little more at ease now…or am I really? Here is what happened…
14 days ago, just before I completely gave up on my ‘boyfriend’ search, I met my 7th guy at a local teashop. He is very cute, a bit on the short side but here is how I’d describe him: 5’8, 165 lbs, blue eyes, wavy brown hair, super toned with muscles in all the right places. He’s just a couple years my senior, lives on his own and owns two cars. Very polite but able to speak his mind and best of all…let me use it in a separate sentence LOL
Best of ALL - he was crazy about me. Yup…almost obsessed :) I loved it!
We seemed to hit it off very well, he asked me on our second date to go bowling and then a movie. It went well but I started having doubts of things going further. I guess my conscience of lying to him about being a manager of an escort agency started to weigh on me. He would ask about my day and I would feed him another pile of sugar coated lies on a platter.
One evening I called him to chat before one of my escort sessions, I had time but he was over at a friend’s house. He talked to me on the phone in the next room for some privacy. “I’m going to a party this weekend, it’s two escort agencies that are just throwing a party for one of the birthday girls working for them.” I told him the truth.
He seemed a bit skeptical about me going to a place like that. Where is it going to be he asked? And I explained that these were usually semi-public parties. An agency rents a pub or bar and makes a list of all invited punters and escorts. I told him I don’t usually go often to these events but this one in particular was of interest to me. And I told him what in reality was true - I found out that an escort I’ve been friends with for the last 2 years was going to be there. The funny thing is we have never met in person but spoke on the phone frequently. She had contacted me and asked if I would be attending and I told her - yes to meet you!
Our conversation led to the topic of married escorts. This friend of mine is married and her husband asked for her hand while he knew about her job. They were together for years before finally settling down but he had always accepted her for who she was and what she did. To this my date expressed his opinion strongly saying, “I wouldn’t be able to date an escort. I can’t see sharing my girl with other men! It would be so wrong. And then the concern for sexual diseases is there too, etc…” I told him I understood where he’s coming from but I personally wouldn’t judge someone so harshly based on his or her line of work. As our conversation progressed into this topic he said, “Please don’t be offended but I wanted to ask if you are into the whole money in exchange for sex thing?”
I almost stammered, “No…” and a silence followed.
“No… what?” he asked.
“I’m not…” I said. He apologized again for asking me. I felt like shit for lying and quickly told him I had to let him go because I was busy with work.
It’s easy not to lie when you avoid the conversation and not have to talk about it…not have to answer such a direct question. But it’s even harder answering a question with a lie when just minutes before that same person expressed how they would really feel about a topic. It would be the same as telling a nurse (not knowing she is one) that you don’t see yourself being with one and then asking the nurse if she is one, but not to be offended if she’s not. It’s totally fucked up.
By our third date I partied away (which was a grand time!) and had a few sleepless nights over over-thinking my situation. I had two choices - make the choice for him by concealing my identity while I watch where our relationship would lead us. And then tell him about my job when I feel the time is right. Which in his mind would mean - a perpetuation of a lie, putting him at risk of sexual diseases, etc…
Or choice number two - tell him that I really am an escort and apologize that I lied. Watch as any possibility of us having a relationship disintegrates before my eyes. Which in his mind would mean - a recovery/correction to a lie, allowing him to see me for who I really am without putting himself at risk of sexual diseases, etc…
What did I choose? Option #1 or #2? Could it be some where in the middle? More later…
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