Thursday, December 9, 2010

Escort - On Dating

It’s awfully hard to find a relationship while being an escort. It takes someone very rare to cope with realities of a girlfriend sleeping with many different men every month. I think it would take someone mature, patient, confident, and caring. Would it be easy for me to find?

Last week I started two separate profiles on a popular dating website. The first was my “pseudo” profile where I lied about what I do. I am a customer service and marketing agent. It’s a white lie. Escorting is all about marketing and customer service. :)

My second profile “genuinely” stated that I’m a working girl who loves her job. Seriously seeking a long-term relationship with a man who can handle a fun, confident, beautiful, and very sexual girl.

To keep things similar age, height, weight, hair colour, and interests were the same. Both profiles did not include photos. It’s obvious why right? LOL This town is full of trolling men and I have seen some of them.

At regular intervals I checked to see what my inbox would generate. And in three days it was still 20 to 0 for Pseudo versus Genuine. I haven’t dated in over 2 years and it felt fun getting to know younger guys again. Let’s just be friends and if things evolve into something more serious over time then I’m game, I told them. And in a couple of days I set a dinner date with a 31-year-old personal fitness trainer/nutritionist.

Before I found myself at the restaurant, my date received a body photo (not face) of me wearing tight jeans with a short top that showed my midriff. He walked into the place just two minutes after me and we introduced ourselves. “I recognized you by those jeans when I saw you walking across the street.” He said laughing. “Yea, that’s what I thought would happen when I was putting them on today.”

We opted to take the comfy seats in the lounge as opposed to the restaurant side. One thing I can tell you about him is he talks - fast and constantly! He would have told me his story from age 2 up to now before our food orders were taken, except he wasn’t talking about his life. For three hours I sat there listening to nutritional studies done by doctors in the 1980s, genes that make people prone to sicknesses, and various fitness routines for building muscles. Can you tell he loves his job? That’s all swell and I appreciate it considering I love learning about those topics myself!

After dinner we stepped out into the freezing cold night and he walked me to my car. He closed in for a hug to say good night and as I was pulling out of our hug he sneaked in a kiss. It totally put me off. For some reason, my game is to be the kiss initiator. In my past I never been kissed until I felt comfortable enough to go for it myself. Which by the way, is always done most unexpected ;)

I still enjoyed meeting him and he is still to this day the only black man I have ever kissed. I’m intrigued by the idea of sleeping with a black man because I have had sex with - Asians, East Indians, Caucasians, Latinos, Native Indians, etc…but never them. My date was from Trinidad and Tobago, about 5 foot 10 with such thick biceps and shoulders that they made his head look pea sized. I almost laughed at first but eventually the proportions started to seem ‘normal’.

The following day he started planning our second date. “Would you like to have supper at my place?” He asked.

“No, I would prefer if we go out. Would you like to go to the movies?” I said. There was no way I was going to head anywhere near his lair! Going to a man’s house is like walking into his bedroom and sitting down on his bed. And I don’t need to be fucked.

On the day of the film he asked me if he’s picking me up. “Well, I can meet you there.” I told him yet he still managed to convince me that going ‘together’ would be better. He arrived at my place but couldn’t quite find it LOL so much for that. Most of my clients find the fuck pad without requiring further directions. I walked out into the street so he could see me.

Now here is where things started to get on my nerves. One thing I hate is being escorted by the arm and having a car door opened for me. I understand it’s supposed to show “respect” but I love walking on my own and opening the car door myself! I don’t mind holding hands playfully once in a while when I’ve been with a boyfriend for some time. But when a guy puts his arm around mine to escort me, I feel like an old lady! Seriously…it makes me feel so BLAH!! Haha

I was very happy to make it to the theatre in one piece! His driving is a bit too aggressive and I don’t drive like a grandma… We got out of his car and he escorted me like an old lady into the theatre. During the previews, which I wanted to see, he kept on talking about his future plans of opening a center for nutrition. At least for the 2 hours when the film was rolling he was able to keep quiet.

He dropped me off at my building after the movies. “Let me walk you to your door.” He said. I didn’t argue at this point, as I wanted to just go home. I tried to make our goodbye quick but he pulled me in and gave me a kiss. “So what do you think about you and me?”

“Uh it’s … nice.” I hesitated but didn’t want to be frank. Made up my mind in the theatre that we just weren’t a good fit. He talks too much and I like my silent moments just as much as I love to chat like every other girl.

“You are such a good kisser I just can’t stop myself.” He said and put his hand on the back of my head pulling me into his mouth.

Well that’s a big lie, considering I wasn’t even kissing him back! LOL

I started pushing away. And when he finally let go a bit I said, “Okay!” and pulled away so I can slip my key into the door. “Have a good night!!”

He realized that I just wasn’t into it and backed off. He wished me a good night and went back to his car. As I walked several flights of stairs to my suite I had an uneasy feeling growing deep in my stomach.

What am I doing? Really? I value my independence, lack of responsibility and accountability to another human being. I love waking up to find myself alone every morning. I love being able to relax where and when I want to. I don’t need a relationship!

And the following day when I tried to log into my dating accounts the website rejected the passwords. Someone flagged my ‘Genuine’ profile and the administrators deleted the IP address that was also associated with my ‘Pseudo’ account.

So much for being honest, I got my reality check ;)

So what’s next? I’ve created a new “Pseudo” profile because going on dates is fun until someone crosses the line. haha

13 comments:

  1. Butterfly SugarDec 10, 2010 11:31 AM

    Hey there I am totally new to you blog, but wanted to comment!
    You bring up two really good points 1.)Being defined by your job or letting your job define you 2.)Men get confused...do women want doors opened & coats laid over puddles or to go dutch and "independence"?

    1.) If one is a stripper, escort, porn star, etc. that is a choice in job or career but hopefully not ALL that makes up that person's character. It's like an architect I went on 3 dates with, and that last one was torture. All that guy did was talk about architecture, architecture and the earth, architecture and religion, etc. That was all there was to that man...B-o-r-i-n-g!

    2. It must be so hard being a guy now...they never know if they are coming or going. I am the total opposite of you. I like for the guy to open the door, walk on the outside of the sidewalk, etc. But, see how extremely different ladies can be and how it could confuse a guy?

    Hugs ♥
    New Blog:
    http://sugarbabychronicles.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  2. @ Butterfly Sugar:

    Hi! Thanks for commenting, I will check out your blog soon.

    You are right about #1 and #2 hehe.
    I think we all should define our job/ not the other way around. A job starts to define us when all we talk about is our job. Now this blog has a topic - escorting, sd'ing, dating, etc...so talking about it here is right on point.
    But many men just take their work home with them...and in this case the date! I would say these men have difficulties socializing and relating to ladies. That's why when I asked him why he doesn't date ladies at the gym? He paused and came up with a lame excuse.

    #2 - You have made me think about how I should deal with this in the future. Men cannot read minds so I should just tell them that I don't like a certain things they do.

    ReplyDelete
  3. P.S.

    The problem with this guy from Trinidad was he was pretending to be chivalrous. Opening doors, escorting by the arm are all signs of classic courting. However, after spending a total of 6 hours with me (3 at dinner, 3 at movies) he felt it was proper to try to make out with me outside my apartment building.

    I don't like openly making out in public, especially when it's our first time!!!

    Don't know what he was thinking? That I'm a desperate horny girl??? LOL Sorry, but I get boned daily by different men.

    On other news :) Work is picking up!!! I'm making some moola.

    ReplyDelete
  4. To some extent we all take our work home with us, don't we? If we are good at what we do, it is likely part of personality and gives us a sense of who we are. To be a good escort you need to enjoy what you are doing and play the part, but to do that you create walls and are independent. This flows into your personal life. We all want to share the events of our day with those close to us, just as you mentioned in your earlier blog about your older platonic friend. While your date is sharing about his work, you cannot so it becomes frustrating.

    For me, I think its too bad your honest profile was flagged as a solicitation and removed. Our best relationships are those with people we can open up to and share.

    ReplyDelete
  5. @ brit:

    Yes, it is a dream come true having an honest open relationship. I know of several girls in the escort industry who have boyfriends. Even though, their boyfriends know the truth about the job, the girls do not share the events of their day.

    One lady in particular said, "As much as he accepts what I do, I know it hurts him. I never bring up my dates with him."

    She also shared a very uncomfortable incident with me. One night her boyfriend and her were having sex and he asked her, "Tell me, am I better?" She stopped got up and said, "Don't you ever compare yourself to them! You are so special to me that I would never dare compare you to anyone else."

    She doesn't want him to even think about it. It's sad...that many people have branded 'us' as 'untouchables'...the rejects of society...garbage... :(

    ReplyDelete
  6. Not a reject or garbage. Unfortunately, the conservatives of America want people to think that sex is dirty and those who work in the Adult Entertainment industry are somehow damaged. There are scores of people that work in the industry and they deserve a good quality of life as well.

    Seems to me your friend's boyfriend is insecure and a little hurtful. Does a guy ask his lover to compare him to an ex-boyfriend or ex-spouse? Of course not. I would never ask my lover to compare me to one of their former partners. That does not mean I don't want to hear about their day or problems.

    ReplyDelete
  7. @ brit:

    Yes, it's nice to know there are people out there like you :) Thank you for reading and commenting

    xoxoxxo

    ReplyDelete
  8. hello Ane i like your Blog i Folow you Thanks
    from Geneva

    ReplyDelete
  9. @ Escort Geneve:

    Thanks Ane!

    xxx

    ReplyDelete
  10. It works both ways. I date a professional escort, in fact we've made long-term plans. But since she lives in another state I was also seeing two local girls for a regular 3-some, which my lady knew about. But she confessed after I stopped seeing them that she felt it had been hard for her to compete knowing that I was doing 3-somes. So now at least she has some idea of how I feel knowing that no one guy can ever compete with the variety and expertise presented by a stream of guys day after day. I have issues with it constantly, but I'm trying to relax about it. She says she's happy with me, and that should be enough.
    And I love your blog, your honesty and openness are a great help to me in understanding what my girl goes through. (and in seeing how much of an ass I've been at times without meaning to!) But this is difficult territory, there are no books to teach you how to deal with everything that comes with dating an escort!

    ReplyDelete
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