Lately I have had to stop seeing a couple clients. It always feels like a downer having to reject clients that are actually quite easy to deal with. When I say easy, I mean, they are not difficult to get along with, pay the correct amount, and don’t require much work to get off.
One of the clients I had to turn down, after I saw him a couple of times, has some type of disability. I cannot really define it because I’m not a health care professional and I have never seen anything quite like it before. Let me try to describe him - Physically from a distance of 40 feet you may not even notice there is anything wrong with him, but as you walk up closer you would notice a strange appearance in his facial features. There is a certain lacking, of something? All I know is that healthy people don’t have that look on their face. His lips are almost non-existent and very dry. Good thing I did not have to kiss him!
The other thing is his speech, on the telephone it sounded like he was perhaps a little nervous being it was a new thing for him seeing an escort. But in person it was still there, and it sounded like a disability.
I found him nice enough. And I proceeded with the session. However, deep down in the backseat of my mind I just could not shake the feeling like I was having sex with someone very gimped. And the more I kept at it, the more grossed out I felt. I wanted to get out of there, away from him. When he was done, 10 minutes later, I dressed and let myself out.
A month later I heard from him again, and this time he wanted to see me for 1 hour. I was very apprehensive but decided to give him another try. The session did nothing to improve my mood. He smelled like … shit? I could not put up with it, and when things were over I dressed in a furry and practically ran out of the house.
As I sat there, driving back home from his place, I wanted to get to the bottom of those feelings I had experienced. Why had I been so disgusted with him? Let’s say there was not shit smell, would my feelings have changed? NO. I had this strange fear, a fear that is ridiculous because it cannot happen yet the fear still squeezes me with all its might.
It’s the fear of becoming pregnant by someone who is obviously an invalid. It sends shivers down my spine. This thought made me realize that I connect sex with procreation, even though I don’t acknowledge it until it becomes sex with someone I find repulsively unhealthy. Someone I would never want to have a child with. I get these same feelings, to a lesser degree, when I am with an old client.
Hmmm… I find it odd, and yet it makes complete sense.
Another client, I had to let go of, or wait, am still in the process of letting go. Had made an appointment with me (it must have been for the 6th time he wanted to see me again) and when I arrived it was obvious he had a blistering cold sore on his lip.
I told him there would be no kissing. And we had a very platonic visit where I ended up giving him a hand job. After the session, I wrote him an email saying that I would much appreciate it if he would cancel an appointment when he is not fully healthy and that I would be happy to reschedule at a later time.
I have a feeling he did not really understand. Men, I notice, can be quite negligent about their health.
And now, he wants to see me again. Obviously a cold sore takes at the very least 2 weeks to go through its stages and start healing. It has only been a week and a half. Does he not realize the danger in exposing someone to this virus?
I told him I am unavailable. And I am wondering if I should even see him in a few weeks. By then he will be healed, but what other things would he not reveal to me and keep his appointment? I am disturbed by the turn of events.
Once I know a person is unhealthy, even after they heal, I cannot seem to release that thought from my mind. How can I ever see him, without reminding myself that he has herpes?
I will need to stop seeing him…
Ladies I’m sure there are clients that just put you off and you want to avoid them? What are your reasons? Please comment.
